The Love Tests
The checkbox of love and the faith in other people.
Previous Post: RARE FOOD
[Rare Food part 2 coming soon.]
We won't destroy you no we will not destroy you
We won't destroy you no we will not destroy you
Thank you Sprendax for the recommendation. Flawless song. As a matter of fact; the whole album. This type of Cult music: Dead Man’s Bones / The Residents / Captain Beefeater & His Magic Band / Frank Zappa… is worth keeping close to the chest.
They’re standing on a backporch with elbows leaning a rickety wooden rail. The view overlooks a gravel driveway with freshly planted, adolescent aged longleaf pines on either side. At dusk the tree frogs and Neotibicen cicadas - you can’t say that in the bar or they’ll slice you with your four eyes and pocket pencil but you can say it here - they cicadas get going and create a natural soundtrack to any conversation that may be happening nearby and tonight, moment’s after a cloudy sunset, they sing in this one:
“Noone’s ever going to hit all of your criteria and that’s a good thing.”
“That’s a horrible thing.”
“No, trust me, it’s a good thing.”
“Why would accepting that I can’t get exactly what I want be a good thing? Where’s you abundance? Henley speaks of this… I’m master of my fate, I am the captain of my own soul.”
“It’s not about that. Or scarcity. You can be full master of you own soul, sure. I agree to that: you are the master of your fate. But not others. They won’t mold into the box you need them just because you need them one way vs. the other.”
“Theoretical. Case by case. Unproven. Should I bring in Manson’s mind control; creating hatred for the parents? But I’m not talking about molding anyone. I’m saying we have freedom to roam lands until are boxes are checked.”
“God. You’re doomed!”
“Free my soul then! What’s good about not getting what I want?”
“Because you don’t know what you want! You don’t even listen to yourself. Sometimes it’s this, then that, and they’re contradicting ideas.”
“I’ve spend decades cultivating my taste preferences. They’re eclectic.”
“Are you eating any foods today you didn’t like 10 years ago? You used to be the pickiest eater I know.”
“Can’t be picky when you’re starving. Life beat that one out of me.”
Both men let out an exhale, scan eyes across the land, one looks down in contemplation and the other starts back up,
“I’m only saying you change your mind then your changed mind means you now have a new ‘taste preference.’”
“You recommend what?”
“Maybe compromise? Some sacrifice? Exercise a little understanding over the Human Condition and accept that nobody is perfect?”
“Nobody except Jesus.”
“Exactly. So why do you hold everyone to that standard?”
“Everyone? C’mon.”
“Don’t you?”
“No. Not to my knowledge but yeah, high standards for those that get to see me without my masks on.”
“What’s that place? An exclusive club you’ve created that people are just deemed access to whenever you feel they’re worthy?”
“Well. In a sense. I do see personal space as a Holy thing to protect but you understand what I’m saying. You wouldn’t have married Claudia if she didn’t meet some sort of criteria you had?”
“I didn’t look at it that way. Love is unconditional.”
“You’re the one that sounds like they don’t know what they want. Unconditional love… only God is close to capable of that and even then...” A pause. “What if she set your baby on fire?”
He scoffs. “Midwit argument. You’re better than that. I never put Claudia on the chopping block and inspected her past, or her identify, with a magnifying glass the way you do.”
“You’d buy ripped merchandise, and furniture with stains on them, you’d buy a car with half a steering wheel all in the name of virtue, of not being judgemental?”
“You’re doomed and a reductionist and this mindset is why real happiness sits outside your reach. But you can see it can’t you? That’s probably what drives you mad is you see others living in ignorant fantasies and you see they’re happy in their bubbles but not you man! No, you’re too smart, too much foresight, too much of a realist to allow yourself the be mindlessly happy?”
“I’ve thought about that myself. It’s the 6th step in awareness. The idea of: actively caring less, lowering standards. Becoming easily pleased. In some avenues I love this: the blade of grass. Nothing special happening there but watching it in the wind brings me happiness. People aren’t that simple though. I believe there’s a happiness - connection - love that’s 100% mindful. Where everything aligns and it’s blemish free. All values get along perfect.”
“You use humor and jokes as a defense mechanism. You’re doomed.”
“I’m blessed.”
There’s a long silence.
“I’m blessed too. I love Claudia and the life we have.”
“Claudias a good gal. You’re a great man. You are blessed.”
“Thank you, man.”
“I mean it too!”
