“I JUST NEED A SIGN”
Gods’ whispers, angelic possession.
ask me a question:
It’s midnight in the American south. Between me and a chill covered dirt is a pair of rugged, lived in boots. I twist them back and forth, digging myself deeper, creating a more sturdy stance. Dust kicks up to the moonlight and the world is almost quiet enough to hear it fall back to the ground.
I’m at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere.
It’s a dead place despite the thousand acres of a live crops stretching the whole of the compass.
I’ve been here before. To my left is one idea for the future.
Stepping closer to the center of the cross I can twist my head that direction and squint towards the horizon. I imagine an outcome. I try to mentally piece together the details of what life would look like if I were to just turn and go. Kick up the orange dirt and forget that the path to the right exist.
The path to the right…
That future. Tethered to reality by nothing but a thin idea. I could just as easy head thatta way.
I look at my boots and wish they’d say something. Or may even just stay quiet and forcibly move me in one direction. Make my decision for me.
I always pray to God when faced with these decisions. These are more than Steak or Shrimp for dinner, route A or B to the grocery store.
These decisions have ripples that design the human you are.
Going to a different city. Accepting this job over that job. Ruining it with them because of them. The type of choosing that has weight because you know in your spirit that the outcomes are worlds apart.
There are two paths for the future I’ve caught in my minds web. One is X, the other is Y. I’ll spare you. Who, really, wants to hear of another’s internal debates. But these blanks can be fit into your own world, imagining a time when you had to choose.
Yes okay yes I’m dealing with that. It’s not a lot and it doesn’t effect my days but I still ask God for direction. I do this because I need him. My choices are Earthly and can too often get wrapped in selfish gain.
I ask him for signs.
And these never come illuminated in neon with an arrow pointed left saying “WINSTON, GO THIS WAY.”
It’s never that loud. God is The Artist and artists use subtlety, they speak in tongues, their truths are veiled and only those willing to put in effort to decipher will gain a creators knowledge. (Unless said creator is a rookie and never learned the Art of Mystique. Pray for them as they may as well be school teachers, teaching ABCs.)
I’m walking down the street and I see a man. Jolly and extraverted. He has a thick white beard, rosy cheeks and, after asking, doesn’t live at the North Pole. He even made a point to say “I fucking hate cold weather, it’s why I’m taking the motorcycle to Florida for a few months. I have a nice lady down there that said to reach out whenever I’m ‘round”
And I said “that does not sound like something Santa would say…”
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But this man, this enigma, his name I forget as I’m horrible with names, but I remember his attitude, the sentences that made his eyes light up, the way he spoke up and down, his emotions seeped into his sentences with delicacy, this man himself was prophetic. I remember how clear he made my choice despite never hearing the options I was flirting with.
Even now I’m not sure he was real. Angels possess people much like Demons…
He was a sign. The conversation with him was enough to push me to the left. It was enough for me to turn a proud eye from the right, kick my boots into high step and laugh with glee as I chase the horizon on the left.
This is spiritually sensitive.
I believe God shows what he wants from us in the smallest ways possible. So minisclue and ‘under the surface of normalacy’ that you must be willing to recieve the message. You have to tilt an ear and really listen. You have to be willing to take a chance on your discernment from said sign.
I moved to California with $3,000 to my name because two hawks flew by my car window while I was asking for a sign to go. It was the decision that made me who I am today. This was 2020 and I still live and die by these signs.
If there’s something you’re between - pray strong and pay attention. Keep moving forward, behind a random door downtown you may see your answer scribbled above a urinal in black sharpie.
MUCH LOVE
WINSTON
SOULED
HOUDINI
THE TIGERS TOOTH THE EAGLES’ TALON!
