Small Small Small
On the pine tree and the ceiling above, in black ink, is a reminder
Feeling the song,
party done,
shadows walking home
Walking with our game on
“Where have you been?”
In the woods! Look at my hands!
Many emails asking questions: Winston where are you?
Are you safe? Winston we’re trying to reach you regarding fraudulent activity we found on your taxes?
And when one comes out of the woods, the entire world seems full of madness.
None of these things matter.
My barefoot dressed in dirt, calloused toes, there’s debris and fern leaf under my toenail!
I saw a pine tree, the tallest I could find, the King of The Pines and without thinking I started to climb!
Like a monkey I pushed upward, like the morning sun I rose higher until reaching the green peak. And here, despite the Pine being smaller than skyscrapers, one is still closer to God.
So I began to yell! To howl! Roaring my neck back and letting it loose. Now to do this in a Target would warrant fear, terrified eyes from the citizens but in the woods it’s met only with a pure, over washing sensation of freedom and ecstasy!
Once down I lathered mud over my body. My skin has never been more clear.
I hid a pack of cigarettes under the tree nearest the rock dam and went to them.
Muddy and inhaling.
Wild and vibrating so when I emerge I’m covered in dirt from head to toe with not much sense of time except, “the sun rose 4 times” so it must be around middle of the week.
Looking at my skin, brown and grimey there’s an incision on my forearm. The only written words from my time
‘Thinking too small thinking too small.’
Thinking too small, in black ink scratched over every wall, I’m thinking too small I’m thinking too small I’m thinking too small!
I hopped on top of the bed and scratched that mantra into the ceiling too so when laying down, in peaceful moment of pre sleep - I can look up and realize, again, I’m thinking too small.
What must be some sense of screaming ambition,
an unholy ‘striving,’ is manifesting itself in a way that encourages me; albeit through torturous means, to think Bigger, Think Differently.
The things sitting in the workshop now are bigger than I’d ever imagined when beginning Souled Idea 3 years ago. Head down again.
He said it best, “you can always be thinner, look better” now abstract that from physical appearance and apply to deeds. Do, above all else, we feel satisfied with social media posts? Is this the legacy I wish my children to receive, or my grandchildren when I’m old (still handsome) but aged.
Having them look up to me and say, “you had fire tweets, gramps.”
This can be applied everywhere. Disconnect from yourself, look back at the body you call home and ask if This Is Where You Believe Your Standards stop. If not, there’s work to be done, energy to be used!
I remember now to a time when I was thinking too small. Embarassing.
A time, years ago, with the height of that peak now sitting 100 yards below my feet. I’ve no idea why that young man set his sights so small but, with objective glances cast backwards, I can see that ceiling has been erupted through.
Instead of thinking too small, thinking too small, thinking too small, I’m in dire need to find an eraser so I can remove all beliefs of that idea. As established, this is not the case. My eyes wide and mouth big enough for 5 cakes… and to eat them too.
A message being sent your way that your fingernails are dug deep, clawing into the leather arm rest as the muscles in your forearms bulge with the effort you’re exerting to Hold On.
WITH PASSION,
Souled Idea
Winston
Uptown Gambler
Downtown Preacher
