Drug Free Haircuts
Educational studies & the complete overlook of what really matters; looking good & powering through, soberly, mental snaps.
It’s been a month since I’ve done drugs. Don’t even think of them. But last night at dinner I found myself particularly tense. My eyes were darting back and forth across the restaurant. At one point landing on the waiter who, 5 minutes before asked me
“Would I like more water?”
Ignoring him I asked my friend, a trusted comrade, “what the fuck does he mean by that?”
“He’s good thanks though” my friend says, tactfully diffusing the sensitive situation.
Eyes landing on the waiter after this scenario are tense. For him. Real timid, shy, cutting eyes upwards to see if I’m still staring. I am.
I feel no ill will towards him. In fact I have a present for him, planning to give it after my dessert. Double baked, mini burnt basque cheesecake with drizzled dark chocolate. The glass of raw milk in my pocket waits, excited, to pair with the dish. The gift is a fortune from my Chinese cookie last night that reads
WHEN LIFE SEEMS DARKEST, FIND COMFORT IN KNOWING THE END IS NEAR.
Confusingly morbid and optimistic I’m hoping it ignites something in him. Maybe he quits, runs away, falls in love, starts a family. Thank you China Wok.
The lack of drugs aren’t making me tense. If it was sooner into my sober spell I could blame it on that. Unfortunately I can’t find the root and it causes a deeper level of anxiety. My leg is trembling, the earthquake shakes the table. We’ve been listening to Sarah talk about grad school for fifteen minutes and my ears are bleeding. I see right through her.
“Education Studies” she proudly exclaims.
“What a waste of time” someone murmurs. Potentially me.
“Relax man, what’s wrong with you?” My comrade steps in.
“You weren’t thinking it too? Sarah what do you learn in Educational Studies? If you want to teach, wouldn’t you study that subject itself?”
“I learn how to best go about teaching different types of students. I learn the ways some kids learn vs others. I learn how to judge if they’re retaining. Anymore questions, Winston?”
“Wouldn’t weekly test solve this?”
After that I put cotton balls in my ears and think hard. What’s the problem. Why so tense. Usually I’m better. Usually...
Then it hits, in my padded room of silence I’m show the answers.
Nobody has noticed, or bothered to mention, my new haircut. Selfish motherfuckers.
WITH LOVE,
WINSTON
SOULED IDEA
THE LIVE WIRE
THE ELECTRIC SHOCK
