Take My Eyeballs
It’s all perspective baby. Attitude. Smooth threads, Bluegrass music, Love, stomping my boots, childlike curiosity.
Read time: 3 & a half minutes. 4 & a half for the intellectually challenged (retarded).
The Outlaws, OUR ORIGINS (1). Heating Up. Only available to readers with private access.
**ALL POST PHOTOS TODAY ARE Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin**
Reader responses from the question at the bottom of 5 Pillars Of A Day:
Eric, what Zeppelin song? Was it their more melodically driven style epitomized in the increasingly smooth Since I’ve Been Loving You? Or was it the heavier, thunder in your bones style they really captured with smash hits such as Whole Lotta Love or When The Levee Breaks? I’m on the edge of my seat to know! Oozing impatience! And fear not freind.. your moderate Monday is more lively, full of raw power than the Saturday nights of most. We’re cut from different clothes. Let them have their yawns.
It’s clinically proven the sauna exorcizes demons. The hot rocks catch them. Much like upside down wine bottle trees outside of homes in the Southeast USA do. Great work with the rope. I’m proud of you. Killer. Also, Ashley… has uhh.. the day off. I caught her sneaking bites of taco bell yesterday and I physically can’t be around that today.
Dennis. Man. All jokes aside, a hard task for me: These words caused my eyes to have a thin layer of diaphanous liquid cover the iris, pupil, all of it. This message stopped me in my tracks. “they have also changed my life.” I believe that a tree falling in the forest without anyone around to hear it, does not make a sound. I feel the same about words, messages and beliefs. So when you reach out with something like this, it motivates and energizes me more than anything else. More than $$, more than the love of a beautiful woman, more than anything. You may be thankful for me, but I, in pure confidence, can say I am more thankful for you. All love Dennis.
It's such a crazy, crazy feeling,
I get weak in the knees,
My poor old head is a reelin',
I’m at a Portuguese restaurant.
I’m wearing a white linen shirt rolled up a calculated amount to make it look like it was effortless. It was not. But it looks like it was. That’s all that matters.
The veins in my forearm are squeezed between the cuff and my watch band. I am, at this moment, a mosquitoes wet dream. Below the belt are light blue jeans, moderately worn, and light brown boots, moderately worn.
I’m taking it all in without focusing on exactly one thing. I then realize that something feels good. I get high tingly. It’s difficult to sit still when this happens. Everything around me is rushing into one good thing. The more I focus on it, the less I can feel it. So it goes…
Maria is across from me drinking a sangria and I want to bite her neck a little too hard. The only thing keeping me from giving in to primality is the man in a van that’s been sitting on the corner for too long and I think I’m being followed.
A couple deep breaths later and the paranoia is washed away by the fresh air hits. “Better than cocaine” I say, out loud, to no one in particular.
“What is baby?” Maria ask softly and usually I ignore questions like this but she’s looking me in the eyes and I feel obligated to answer. Out of courtesy. Or love. Or something.
“All of it, really. I know you feel it too. The winds breath, the condensation on my glass of water is an ocean to the ants, these chairs are hardwood, real wood, feel the impressions on the legs, the sun is hot but doesn’t it seem to burn away anxiety? Our waitress has a strange underbite. It’s objectively ugly but she makes it work. There is beauty in that. I think. How’s the sangria?”
I want you to see the world through my eyes. I want to cut them out. Precision excluded, a hack job. Old school lobotomy style. Then I want to tie in a knot the optic nerve connecting it to your brain. Maybe it turns out messy. Maybe we’re both scarred from the process. But then! Yes! You’ll be able to see how life is to me.
It’s the attitude - mood - perception of the World that really matters. It’s a childlike approach. Full of wonder. I’m turned on by that which most fail to perceive. And turned on isn’t sexual I mean I’m lit up. That moment, you know, when you plug something in for the first time and it comes to life!
Do you remember childhood when the Christmas tree was picked, the decorations were put on, the lights were wrapped throughout. Then the finale: the moment your dad or mom or orphanage leader plugged the lights in!
This is what I experience a million times a second. Until another human crashes the high - brings back reality. That is a murderous moment. Then it is not red I see but nothing. Blackness. Mentally retreating into a cave which is impossible to penetrate from the outside because out there, in that cruelness is the reminder of a reality which I don’t believe is as real as everyone else perceives it to be.
'I am happy to report that in the war between reality and romance, reality is not the stronger.' John Steinbeck
Turning over every rock because underneath one may be SOMETHING that made the first 1,000,000 empty graves worth it.
The sun hits my face and I cry. I weep. I don’t take drugs. I don’t need them or want them. God blessed my perspective. I’m a drunken pirate with gold teeth deliriously biting into anything life is willing to gift me. And I tell you! It’s ALL a gift!
DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS A SOUND:
ps. i put this so far down because i watch the scroll duration of each IP adress and usually after submitting a form people exit. meaning this will be seen by the fewest folk, meaning i can get uhhh.. mmm. sentimental. so i want to say Thank You for all the support. all the minutes you take to read. all the messages you send. and truly thank you to the paid supporters. who are buying my book, who are paying for the $5 substack. i hate attaching dollars to art but if you knew how long these are to write, go over, format, send out, market, you’d be shocked. this on top of a job, on top of a social life, on top of 1.5hrs in the gym everynight, on top of homecooking meals because everything out there is poisonous.. means “free time” doesn’t exist. and if there are any pockets of time, they go towards writing more for here, substack, or the upcoming. book. so i really mean it when i say thank you for the support. if you got the dollaz, chose the paid substack, if not, continue reading and just know I love - value - cherish every supporter the same.
MUCH LOVE,
WINSTON
SOULED IDEA
SCALLYWAGGIN’ PIRATE
PARANOID VOCALIZER
